Traumas

“Violated” ©2011 Suzanne G. McClendon

I was visiting a friend’s blog this morning called Artmuse Dog. She was discussing learning from our traumas.

In early January 2010, I was assaulted by a customer in the store where my husband and I were working. I saw the boy come in and thought his greeting a bit odd (“hey, girlfriend”), but I tried to not think anything about it really because people were always calling me things like “dear”, “mama”, etc. It’s just the way they are around here.

I should have regarded more fully the initial twinges that I got from that greeting.

He did not rape me. I thank Heavenly Father for that. In some ways, I think what he ultimately did was worse (for me personally) than a ferocious physical attack. He attacked my security, my safety…my sanity.

I can’t remember enough about it to do anything about it, and couldn’t even in the immediate aftermath give a description of the boy, but I can’t forget it enough to forget it happened. And it has me trapped, looking over my shoulder, wondering “is that him?” every time I see someone who even remotely favors what I remember of him – short stature, thin, curly/wavy dark hair.

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About Suzanne Gunter McClendon

I am a South Carolina native now living on the Texas Gulf Coast. I have been married to David for just over 32 years. We have 4 surviving adult children and two children-in-law. At this point in our lives, we are adjusting to an empty nest. I enjoy reading, writing, photography, digital art, fiber arts, and much, much more.
This entry was posted in Assault, Crime, Trauma. Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Traumas

  1. tianac says:

    I can fully relate. In 1995, my husband and were living in an apartment. He worked nights, so I would be home with our baby daughter overnight. Let me preface the rest of the story with, I have never been one to like the night time by myself. We were broken into one night. My daughter and I were asleep together on the couch. I was awaken to a stranger at my back door – not trying to come in, but trying to go out. Although he didn’t even touch me, I felt completely violated. In retrospect, I can’t help but believe that that moment was to teach me to pay better attention to my surroundings. I firmly believe that I have avoided what would have been even more detrimental because of my radar being so much more in-tune.

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    • celticmama36 says:

      I am so sorry that I never saw your comment or responded to it. I don’t know how I missed it. 😦
      I am sorry for what happened to you and am glad that this creature didn’t do something physical to you or your baby girl. The emotional trauma is bad enough. I also hope that nothing like this has happened again.
      Again, I am so sorry that I never saw your comment. Please forgive me. Have a blessed evening.

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  2. I’m so sorry this happened to you and pray for peace that comes from the knowledge that God is with you. So glad you followed the little community at Redemptions Beauty. I hope you will join in the conversations in the comments when you feel led to.

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    • celticmama36 says:

      Thank you, Shelly. I am sorry for the delay in my response. For whatever reason, this is the first that I’m seeing some of the comments.

      I am glad that He is with me, with all of us. May you be blessed!

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  3. Janis Cox says:

    Oh it is so great to meet you but I am sorry to hear about your trauma. I pray that Jesus will cover you with a calmness only He can give. I pray that you will look to Him for security and peace. I know how fear can envelope a life (I lived that way until I fully gave my life to Him). Praying that as you read, listen and discuss this peace will come on you.
    Many blessings and thanks for coming over to my blog,
    Janis http://www.janiscox.com

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    • celticmama36 says:

      Thank you, Janis, for the prayers and the encouragement. My “one word” for this year is Fearless. I am working on it, though so many things are coming along to keep me in a state of fear. I just need to hold onto the fact that He has it all covered, no matter what that “it” is. I don’t know what tomorrow holds, but I know Who holds tomorrow.

      Thank you again. Have a blessed day!

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  4. katyoparty says:

    What an awful experience for you. Sending you prayers of courage and strength. Fearless is the perfect word for you to focus on this year.

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  5. Kathy says:

    I’m so sorry for your traumatic experience. Our home has been robbed twice, and, both times, I felt ‘violated’ in some way, even though we were at work when the robberies occurred.

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    • celticmama36 says:

      Thank you.

      How upsetting! I can completely understand you feeling violated, because you were. The sanctity of your home was intruded upon. I am so sorry this happened to you.

      I am glad that you were not there when the robbers were there. It could have been so much worse. 😦

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  6. I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I can’t understand how one person can do that to another.

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    • celticmama36 says:

      Thank you. I can’t either. Some people just have a lot of problems, especially around here in this area. They think things are their right to do when it isn’t. They take what they want, whether or not the person wants them to have it.

      I was scared then, and angry for a long time afterwards. Now, I just really would rather not be out there for it to have the chance to happen again. But, I have no choice. I can’t stay inside always because there are things that have to be done out there.

      Fearless is my word for this year and I am working on that.

      Thank you for your comment. I hope that you have a great week.

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